Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Earl of Ketchup. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Earl of Ketchup. Sort by date Show all posts

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Obama Considering Earl of Ketchup for Defense Secretary

Sen. John Kerry - Heinz (D-Mass)
Keeping with his theme of America as a defender of freedom and a Military Power in the world, the Washington Post  hints President Obama is considering the appointment of The Duke of Heinz / The Earl of Ketchup - U.S. Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) to the cabinet office of Secretary of Defense.

One of the wealthy 1%, Sen.Kerry, a Navy veteran turned anti-war activist and critic of the use of the military by Reagan, Bush 41 and 43, campaigned for the presidency in part against Bush 43's efforts at waging of war on terror (while never criticizing the bombing of civilians during Clinton's misuse of the air force in Kosovo and ignoring the rivers of Rwanda running red with blood and headless bodies). Testifying in 1970 to a Senate Committee, he accused the US of war crimes.  

Before his anti-war days, Sen. Kerry spent a four-month tour of duty in Vietnam receiving 3 Purple Hearts from a grateful nation for wounds, including shooting himself in the leg and the most serious suffered using an MRE can opener in Saigon in 1969. It is believed he was sent home for his own protection.....

With a former first lady as Secretary of State and Senator Kerry as Defense Secretary I'm sure our enemies in the world will certainly fear America enough to behave themselves while we fix our own problems here at home.  

Friday, August 7, 2020

It'a A Big Week for Two of Our Favorite Bitter and Disgraced

What a day to wake up to find two of our favorite kickballs of the past here at DMF making news. I speak of none other than The Earl of Ketchup and the Loveable Nicaragua Piglet herself.

Ana Navarro, the former Republican strategist, current Anti-Trump CNN contributor and part-time banshee on the toxic hatefest sideshow 'The View',  who's acrimony and bitterness are legendary has joined the Biden 2020 Basement campaign.

Navarro's family fled the Sandinista communist revolution and settled in Miami. But the TDS is so strong here that the woman who claims she became a Republican at the age of 8 because it was a party that was fighting communism has now gone to work for a candidate, who if elected, would essentially be influenced and handled by Justice Democrats communist advisors already embedded in the campaign. She's been hired mainly to do outreach to the Latino community and repeat with a spanish accent the lie DJT called all Mexicans rapists and criminals, which he didn't say. 

Her bitterness and unprofessionalism will surely be on full display the next 90 days in spades (are we still allowed to say that?). And anyone who is familiar with this fat and obnoxious little ray of sunshine has no real doubts why she was 48 years old before she finally found someone willing to marry her.

In other news, we find that last week end, the failed former presidential candidate and US State Dept. Iranian buttboy, none other than the Duke of Heinz / Earl of Ketchup himself, John F. Kerry, finally accomplishes something of importance.

Secretary of State Kerry About to Earn Fourth Purple Heart for Trauma Suffered to his
 Genitals During a Break in Iranian Nuclear Treaty Negotiations in Switzerland 

The disgraced, accident prone 
kisser of Mullha ass, valiantly captained a 45 foot yacht to a first-place finish in the Edgartown Yacht Club’s Round the Island race last Weekend.  Kerry completed the 54.7 nautical-mile race around Martha's Vineyard in 8 hours, 52 minutes, and 7 seconds, more than 6 minutes faster than the wussy loser second-place finisher.

Kerry reported encountering some difficulties near Mutton Shoal off of Wasque, but drawing on his extensive wartime experience as a heroic swift boat commander dodging the enemy, rallied his crew "who caught a little bit of air and played it further to the east and we stayed out of trouble." What a Guy!

It is possible that Kerry's former boss, Barky Obama, was on hand to celebrate the most impressive achievement of Kerry's career outside of marrying a billionaire with the personality of a fish.  Barky and Big Mike purchased a 30-acre estate on Edgartown Great Pond last year for nearly $15 million after signing a lucrative Netflix contract to produce documentaries about income inequality.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Earl of Ketchup Goes Hawkish

U.S. Senator John Kerry (D-Mass), Duke of Heinz, Earl of Ketchup today said the U.S. Military should set up and maintain a No Fly Zone over Libyian airspace.
Sen.Kerry, a [Navy] veteran turned anti-war activist and critic of the use of the military by Reagan, Bush 41 and campaigned for the presidency in part against Bush 43's efforts at waging of war on terror (while never criticizing the bombing of civilians during Clinton's misuse of the air force in Kosovo and ignoring the rivers of Rwanda running red with blood and headless bodies) now wants to inject us into a senseless operation and endangering our fighter pilots over Libyan airspace. 

NO, Senator Kerry! This is a problem better addressed by NATO, the European forces of NATO! Europe imports more of their oil from Libya then America and  could be confronted by mass immigration that could come their way from north Africa, so let them let deal with it.
It's their backyard. 

Let the French Italians, Germans and  Belgians pilots take the high risk operations of disabling the Libyan air defenses, which must be done first . We have more important things to tend to, like fighting the war on terror for them! 

 And is it just me, or is it coincidental that anti-war demonstrations tend to disappear and some democrats get all brave, gutsy and hawkish when their guys occupy the White House? Just a thought.

Thursday, February 4, 2021

That Time John Kerry Had His Fill of DMF/Middle Finger News Service and His Cheese Slipped Off His Cracker

Since Joe Biden has chosen to grace us again with the always effervescent public presence of one of our favorite kickballs, none other than the Earl of Ketchup, John Kerry, we decided to open the dank archives of DMF and drag out into the light some of our favorite John F. Kerry post from the long ago Barky Obama years. Good Times. Good Times.

MFNS - Secretary of State John F. Kerry (he fought in Vietnam you know) has called out 'Middle Finger News Service' as a pitiful Unamerican / Uncosmopolitan “satire” outlet and threatened humanitarian annihilation, if we do not shape up.

Below is a partial transcript of his remarks at the "Societe De Douchebag Internationale" convention yesterday, and I promise you, sh*t  getting real.....

"The illegitimate 'Middle Finger News' editorial regime and its vicious hack collaborators, for too long, have defied the wrath of the International Community.   These despicable hooligans truly are “Sinners in the Hand of an Angry Military-Industrial Complex,” and its about time they started to show accountably for their venomous use of free speech and abuse of the people's Internet. 
Their crimes against breadsticks are simply intolerable. It is over 72 hours since either a new post or even a meager, petty, individual comment on MFNS has mentioned the Olive Garden fiasco. How much longer does Our Common Humanity have to wait?"
"I know not with what weapons President Assad has fought with, because we haven't had a chance to think about this one yet. But what I do know is that our war of eternally compassionate and brutally sympathetic attrition with the bitter, hard-boiled Middle Finger News dogmatists and ideological fanatics will be fought with… um, Syrian cooking pots.”
"You know who said that? Yes, that’s right.
No, not Assad, he’s kind of our second-best frenemy right now. I mean, it's getting to the point where he needs us more than we need him. Unacceptable. But kinda acceptable too.  Or is it?
No, not that Indian guy. No, not Einstein either. Someone a bit closer to home. A great man of peace.  I Thought it was pretty obvious who is the Great Emancipator and Man of Eternal Pacific Justice in our time.
Anyway… I've told you what's what, and who our enemies are for the time being…Until we decide (or at least do not decide) otherwise, in light of the purely value free and objective given constraints and opportunities. 
You know, I really hate these guys. Just ‘cos.  Well, that's enough, right?  Well, maybe.
Still, the other side of this dilemma, which is equally important, and of equal strategic importance to us all, is that Middle Finger News Service is an eternally radiant beacon of Voltairean irony and satire, carrying the eternal flame of Paine and Jefferson across all the boundless, blooming spaces of the information superhighway…...the sole and sufficient hope in which all meager, starved, and sore thirst seekers of satire may put their trust; and ever abide in the tender bowels of humor, the greatest gift among gods and people.
No, shut up!
No, don’t worry, that was technically a malapropism, not a flip-flop as such. Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it.  Nope! Sorry! You're not having that one. No woolly compromises. 
This time. No, no, no! This time, it's gotta be one or the other."

And then it got weird.

I was… let’s say, I was in agreement with half of what Kerry said.
Work it out for yourself.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Yep...I Still Think Pantsuit is Gonna Run.

As I wrote in an previous post Warming Up the Clinton Smear Machine, I believed Hillary Clinton will oppose Obama in the primaries for the 2012 nomination. The discontent in the electorate, Obamas inability to understand elementary economics and all around incompetency in office, spells blood in the water.  All the while, Secretary Clinton has remained for the most part out of view, avoiding controversy while meeting with former Clinton allies’ overseas and gaining trust and foreign policy experience. I expect her to resign as Secretary of State soon and prepare for a run.  The Earl of Ketchup (John Kerry) awaits in the wings to be appointed Secretary of State.
Maybe Barack Obama was wrong; you can put lipstick on a pig, but only if you believe you can continue to rely on the stupidity and short memories of the American Left. 

Dissecting the 2008 primaries as best I can remember, it seems that Obama was originally the Ultra-Liberals attempt to get their views to the fore, because so far as they were concerned, Hillary Clinton was simply George W. Bush with a pantsuit on.  No one expected Obama to win so much as to be the standard bearer of the demented Left. His 'job' was to put their issues on the table, and to warn 'centrist' dems (a contradiction in terms) that the Dingbat Wing of the party should not be taken for granted.  Subsequent events, I think  have proven me correct in this assumption, bearing the last two years in mind,  does it look like Barack Obama was ever prepared to be President of the United States, or that he ever expected to win?
What has resulted from a policy perspective, both foreign and domestic, seems to indicate that no, he was not expecting to win, and when he actually did, he had no plan. None of that vision stuff. What Barack Obama actually did was to let Congress do his heavy lifting while he played golf and bought time to learn what being in charge actually means, a lesson he still seem not to have mastered.
The way I see it, Clinton lost an election she had every 
opportunity to win primarily for three major reasons:

 (1) - She ran her campaign as if she had already won, as if the Office of President was her birthright.  She seemed to be taking the Victory Lap before the race even started. She did everything but measure the Oval Office windows for new curtains (on the off-chance the old ones might still have Bill's you-know-what all over them), and plan to return the silverware that came up missing  when the Bushes moved (back) in.  Politically, Hillary would have been Bush-like, she would have continued the War, she would have kept the Patriot Act and she would not have advanced the same radical Health Care stupidity that Obama did (at least not in her first term). If you were a Whackjob Lefty in 2008, Hillary Clinton was George W. Bush's third term.
If you were a democratic party voter in the fall of 2008, and your choice was between The Crusty Black Pantsuit who talked a good game, but lied to your face, and could be reasonably expected to simply continue Bush's policies with only minor  cosmetic changes, or the Slick Hipster 'Outsider' who had inspired you with lofty rhetoric and a thin resume, but who restored your deluded vision of the heady days of JFK, RFK and MLK, only with a Program of Reparations attached, who would you chose?

(2) - Hillary Clinton carried far too much baggage.  About 200 pounds of it in the form of a guy named Bill.

(3) - In the "Great Pecking Order of Worthiest Victim Groups" that is democratic (small 'd' intentional) politics, Hillary The Heir Apparent was stunned to learn that (half-) Black Man still trumped Woman Done Wrong By Cheating and Abusive Husband.  As a result, Clinton took the job of Secretary of State because it was the next best thing; it gave her a serious job (junior Senator from a state you don't really live in is like being an unpaid intern, and besides, Charles Schumer is an obnoxious asshat), and it might even prove a springboard to future success.  And judging from the foreign policy mistakes of this Administration (ones that Hillary will be glad to tell you in the coming primary season were not her doing; she was simply following orders from above...yeah, like that worked at Nuremberg, too) that's not exactly something I would want on my resume.
She will pull out her old 'Centrist Democrat' disguise, something that barely exists anymore thanks to the GOP-Tea Party romp in the 2010 Mid-Terms, and run to Obama's right as a New-Old-Centrist-Blue-Dog Democrat (four lies for the price of one) while out-hawking the GOP Hawks, and do her damndest to be as indistinguishable as the most centrist Republican come 2012.

As for illegal immigration and border security, she’s been silent on both, because if you plan to run for President on the Democratic Party ticket you can't afford to offend all the illegal voters in California, your Mother Lode of illegal-alien-and-welfare-mother-supplied Electoral Votes --54 of them. That's 20% of the total required to be elected, you know. Let's see if the American electorate can still be that stupid two Presidential elections in a row, and fall for someone who's so obviously a poser, or whether the 'Throw The Bums Out' fervor of the Tea Party and the Great Middle continues.

Get your popcorn folks, there's gonna be a fight on the Left very soon. Ya heard it here first.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

John Kerry Believes In Border Wall Security - As Long As It Pertains To His Family's Palatial French Villa

 Earl of Ketchup - Duke of Heinz

Following the law is for the little people. Walls and enforcing secure borders is only for rich elites. That seems to be the conclusion as the family of John Kerry continues to fight rules about land access around the family's Palatial French Villa, while demanding that migrants, hikers and the great unwashed be kept away from their multi-million dollar property.

The former senator, presidential candidate, and least effective U.S. Secretary of State of the past 50 years, spends a significant amount of time at his family’s ancestral home in Saint-Briac-sur-Mer, (away from the crazy Heinz Ketchup Lady) along a pristine stretch of France's Brittany coast, where unicorns are born. Kerry's grandfather James Forbes bought the Essarts castle in Saint-Briac in 1928 and it has remained in the family since, being rebuilt as a villa after it was confiscated and later destroyed during World War II. Hikers demanding right of way along the pristine stretch of coast are locked in a legal war with the coastal villa owners in a posh resort town. Under French law the country’s coastlines must be accessible to all, similarly to Britain's "right to roam" rules.

But for decades Saint-Briac leaders have steadfastly refused to obey via a series of legal moves, in particular Brice Lalonde — Kerry’s first cousin. Now, the family of the liberal icon is doing everything they can to keep those pesky commoners and dirty migrants from stepping foot near their villa. The proposed path will "impact the well-being of residents by knocking down their walls and ruining their privacy," Lalonde told AFP in a statement. 

Kerry’s extended family is said to be worried about the “terrorist risks” of allowing common people onto the beach as French law requires, and fretted that “it will be fairly easy to target members of my family who are politically active. The same open-borders liberals declare that building walls to prevent illegal entry is racist — and don’t even think about suggesting that unrestricted migration or open access could be exploited by terrorists. But if you’re a powerful former senator or his wealthy family, none of that applies. Suddenly, walls are amazing and keeping people from walking near your property. That they could be terrorists is suddenly hugely important.

The hypocrisy and double-standards are just too much. One set of rules for thee, and one set for me. Liberal elitism has once again been exposed as a power-consolidating sham.

(Western Journal - CT)
(Agence France-Presse)

MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage~

Monday, September 3, 2018

John Kerry Doesn't Rule Out Joining the Dem's 2020 Circus

John Heinz-Kerry Tearfully Accepting the King’s Crown from The International Douchebag Society - 2014

In an interview Sunday with CBS Face The Nation Hostess, the lovely Margaret Brennan, the venerable Duke of Heinz -Earl of Ketchup - former Secretary of State John F. Kerry, refused to rule out a run for the White House in 2020, saying "talking about it now is just a distraction." In political speak he means if Dems can't win in the midterms, who'd want to be active in a party of a bunch of pathetic out-of-touch losers. Best known as husband of Teresa Heinz Kerry, the former senator and failed presidential candidate writes in his new book about John F. Kerry that "our nation is stronger when citizens stand up and decide that the way things are isn't the way things have to be." Like most democrats with acute TDS, he too fails to understand THAT'S WHAT THE LAST ELECTION WAS ALL ABOUT!

A multiple Purple Heart recipient now in private life where no one pays him any attention but his dogs, John F. Kerry laments on regrets about his miserable 2004 failed bid for the White House, including the choice of the lying lecherous pretty boy John Edwards as his running mate. John F. Kerry now sips chardonnay as he watches most of his political legacy, mainly the fraud of an Iran nuclear deal, the ridiculous climate change accord as well as the crown jewel of his foreign policy efforts, the Non-Aggression Pact with Canada, all being regulated to the dumpster of historical blunders by DJT.

And seeing John F. Kerry decided to use his high position to stir up some shit by personal calling out DMF's News Division 'Middle Finger News Service' at an International Awards Ceremony for our critical, but fair, coverage of his incompetent exploits as Barky's SOS, John F.Kerry made himself of one our favorite kick balls, giving us beaucoup amounts of material

But, in the name of healing the country and (to cultural appropriate a saying) bury the hatch so to speak, we at DMF/ MFNS wholeheartedly encourage John F. Kerry to seriously consider joining the Democrat Circus for 2020. You have so much to contribute. The Democrats need you Mr. Kerry.

(Sunday Morning) 
(The Musty Archive Vault of MFNS)
Thank You Whatfinger News & MJA @IOTWR for the Linkage!

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Is Biden Just Throwing Darts at a Wall of Post-it Notes with Names on Them??

I think we all are scratching our heads at Biden's sometime questionable picks for appointments to high level positions, even dragging out losers like The Earl of Ketchup, John Kerry, and a lunatic like Jennifer Granholm, who spent most of her appearances on cable news pre-election coverage calling everyone nazis, along with people with little or no level of expertise in their positions of authority they find themselves appointed to. I really didn't think things could get anymore weirder than Mayor Buttcheeks at Transportation, who I think Biden just didn't understand what the Mayor really meant when he said he liked trains.

But after reading this: 'Joe Biden Takes Failing Up to an Unprecedented Level', I'm starting to get the feeling Joe may be throwing darts at a wall of post-it notes with names written on them.
"When I found out some weeks back that Andy Slavitt was being brought in by Joe Biden to be a top COVID advisor, all I could do was chuckle. This was a guy who has been consistently wrong for the entirety of the pandemic, including projecting over one million deaths. His Twitter feed presents itself as the ravings of lunatic, and his proclamations on things like lock downs and mask usage have been shown to be evidence free garbage. 
Yet, Slavitt might not be the worst example of failing up in the Biden administration. There’s a new contender, and she’s taking things to an unprecedented level. It’s truly the worst of Washington on display."
And that bring us to one Suzi Levine:
"Suzi Levine, who lost $600 million to Nigerian scam artists then helped block an audit of her department, will now lead the federal office that helps states manage jobless benefits. The fact that this woman spells her name with a “z” should have been a clue something was off, but I digress. Suzan Levine has announced her elevation to the Biden administration from serving as Washington state’s Commissioner of Employment Security Department. 
As head of the ESD, her job was ostensibly to protect her state from fraud involving things like benefit payments. Instead, she lost $600 million to Nigerian scam artists. No, I’m not joking. That’s really a thing that happened. 
After that was revealed, Levine attempted to cover her own backside by refusing an audit to figure out what the heck happened. Her agency has been embattled and under investigation ever since. She also oversaw long delays during the pandemic in getting people benefits. Now, here comes the kicker. Levine and her husband gave $400,000 toward Biden’s election effort during the 2020 cycle. 
For her troubles, she’s going from losing hundreds of millions of dollars with her incompetence to doing the same job at the federal level. Brilliant, right?....."
The swamp is alive and well, and Joe Biden is shoveling more and more garbage into it. Where are the outraged media reports about him appointing people with such obvious records of failure? I think we all know the answer to that by now.

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

John Kerry Proves He's Still Inept at That Policy Stuff

Biden administration climate czar, the venerable Duke of Heinz - Earl of Ketchup - second rate former Secretary of State John Kerry, leaves Beijing with no deal, no potential deal, not a wisp of a deal, just his bag of dirty clothes. He announced Wednesday after three days of climate negotiations with Xi Jinping's government, he did succeed in having long and very detailed meetings with a lot very frank conversations, lots of fine dining and chardonnay, but it is clear that we are going to need a little more work to complete our task.  Translation: Kerry failure to return with any sort of climate agreement comes as another embarrassment to the Biden administration.

During Kerry's time in Beijing, Xi poured cold water on the Biden administration's attempts at climate diplomacy by not meeting with Kerry during the visit and on Tuesday, reiterating his nation's climate goals "will never be influenced by others." Xi basical told Kerry to have a fortune cookie and buzz off horseface. We got coal power plants to build. 

Leaving Beijing, Kerry looked "haggard and somewhat out of his mind", ranting about conservative bloggers in the U.S. making fun of him, and that he "needed an earth shaking international agreement to show those bastards!"

John F. Kerry, the multiple Purple Heart recipient no one pays any attention but his dogs, now desperately watches most of his political legacy, mainly the fraud of an Iran nuclear deal, the ridiculous climate change accord as well as the crown jewel of his foreign policy efforts, the Non-Aggression Pact with Canada, all being regulated to the dumpster of historical blunders.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

John Kerry Voted Dead Last in Terms of Effectiveness

Least effective U.S. Secretary of State of the past 50 years

Foreign Policy magazine this week announced the results of its 2014 Ivory Tower survey of 1,615 international relations scholars from 1,375 U.S. colleges. The survey quizzed respondents about recent historical events and future policy challenges.  Among the questions ask in the survey: who was the most effective secretary of state over the past 50 years?

Not good news for for the Earl of Ketchup.

The winner of the polling was Nobel Peace Prize winner Henry A. Kissinger, who was secretary for four years during the Nixon and Ford administrations. Kissinger got 32.21 percent, extraordinary in such a large field.

Don’t Know” came in a relatively distant second, with 18.32 percent.

James Baker, Secretary of State in the George H. W. Bush administration, who was actually the most effective secretary in the last 50 years, came in third at 17.71 percent, just behind Dr. Know.

Madeleine Albright and Hillary Clinton tied for fourth at 8.70 percent. (no doubt voted high by female scholars for obvious reasons).

And Pulling up the rear, Lawrence Eagleburger came in 12th place with only 0.31 percent.

And dead last, was John Kerry. He got a total of two votes of the 660 scholars who responded.

It can't be very comforting to Sec. Kerry that he polled behind  Eagleburger, who was only secretary of state for six weeks. (insert laugh track here)

And to think, this is the man who democrats put their faith in to defeat George Bush and become the 44th President of the United States......

You can read more about the survey Here

Friday, March 25, 2016

U.S. State Dept. Will Award You $1.5 Million to Pen a “TV Drama” Helping Combat Islamic Radicalization

Sec.of State John Kerry, The Earl of Ketchup-Duke of Heinz

Secretary of State John Kerry (he fought was in Vietnam Ya Know) will travel to Belgium this week to extend the American peoples' condolences to the citizens of Brussels, and probably to help counter the problematic public relations the White House is facing after our President was pictured tangoing the night away in Argentina rather than attending to important things, like people getting blown up in Europe.

But, fear not, America and our allies, because the State Department has a plan. Announced yesterday, they are now offering a $1.5 million grant to anyone who can pen a television drama series that can counter radicalization in the Middle East.
"This grant will fund the development and broadcast of a television drama series in which young people grapple with everyday frustrations and lack of opportunity, while growing and learning through new experiences," the offer said.
"The drama will be grounded in reality, but will also contain compelling creative content (i.e. storytelling, resonant narratives, strong characters, sophisticated production, etc.)," it added. "In short, it will strive to be entertaining while challenging viewers to engage in critical thinking by placing characters in situations where they are faced with a choice: support universal values of tolerance and peace or be drawn into the dark world of extremism."
The grant explains that the show needs to be inspiring, and that the characters need to be relatable, so that potential jihadis, hanging around watching television dramas in their spare time between training on the Internet to build bombs, will be able to identify with the young people on screen and see them as "role models" for how to handle the deep and permeating sadness in their soul without strapping on a suicide vest.

Now, honestly, outreach-through-entertainment isn't a horrible idea. After all, after a motorbike, a satellite dish is the most popular "disposable income" purchase even in the third world. And America produces a hell of a lot of television, unfortunately mostly starring people with the last name "Kardashian," that reinforces our status as the world's Great Satan. But it might be too little too late to start drafting Shonda Rhimes into our national security efforts, now that plans are underway to incorporate thousands more refugees into western countries, after they've all been trained in the finer points of C-4 laced apparel-making.

Any question why these people have no fear of us what so ever?

( Link)

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

John Kerry Proves He's Still Inept at That Foreign Policy Stuff

Liberals are in hysterics and wetting themselves because the President went to Europe and talked tough to European allies and actually had the audacity to question why they don't pay their fair share in defending the continent from Russian aggression. And just like every other times Trump has done something they deem unusual or dangerous, he gets results and liberals are left looking embarrassingly for the next shiny object. As a result of Trump's straightforward tough talk, the NATO nations have agreed to increase their military spending and no one was harder hit than former Secretary of State John Kerry--The Earl of Ketchup/Duke of Heinz--who ceremoniously defined the role of top US diplomat with historic ineptitude and incompetence
"NATO leaders pledged their “unwavering commitment” to boost defense spending on Wednesday, following stern words from President Trump criticizing European leaders for spending too little. The U.S. and European allies signed a declaration stating they are “committed to improving the balance of sharing the costs and responsibilities of alliance membership.” The declaration comes after confrontational and testy discussions between Trump and other NATO leaders."
So Trump dresses down NATO about lack of military spending and they respond by increasing military spending. It seems so simple. Why couldn’t Kerry or Obama do this? I guess I answered my own question. Kerry and Obama.

Kerry posted a statement on the tweeter saying that Trump was “disgraceful and destructive” and called his statement “counter productive.” He also claimed that Trump had undermined the Obama administration’s efforts to get NATO to increase their military spending. I wonder if the news has reached him Trump actually got NATO to do this while he and Barky had failed so miserably.

Kerry implied Trump was stupid, which is funny coming from a guy who paid Iran pallets of cash to continue their nuclear weapons program. Kerry then tried to make it seem like he was tougher on Russia than Trump is. Yeah, same guy who sat around sipping Chardonnay with other useless diplomats as Russia annexed a large portion of the Ukraine. And all this coming from the Secretary of State who summed up the Clinton/Kerry foreign policy years; 'Nothing Says World Peace Like a Box of Potatoes'.

Obviously John Kerry is confused by foreign policy success. This is something he has never experienced before and it is frightening to him. It also probably doesn’t help that Trump’s winning makes Kerry look even more like a blathering idiot.

[La Libre Belgique]                                
[FOX News] 
Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage!

Monday, February 17, 2014

John Kerry Adds Another Tittle

 Duke of Heinz - The Earl of Ketchup and now......

Earl of Taint/ MFNS Exclusive:

An emotional Secretariat of State John Heinz-Kerry tearfully accepted the King’s crown from The International Douchebag Society at their annual convention Sunday in Geneva.  Continue Reading

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

☪ A Foreign Policy Black Comedy ☪

Kerry Seen Leaving Recent  Iranian Negotiations 
Known affectionately here at DMF as the "Earl of Ketchup" and "The Duke of Heinz", John Kerry can now add a  third honor to his  royalist list of titles - "The Prince of Fools" 

Ricochet - You must give John Kerry credit. Who else could play the idiot with a straight face like he can. Again, he knocked me to the floor with a comment so devoid of intelligence, so totally inane as to astound beyond all credence. Truly he is the Prince of Fools.
"U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said a speech by Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei on Saturday vowing to defy American policies in the region despite a deal with world powers over Tehran’s nuclear program was “very troubling.”
“I don’t know how to interpret it at this point in time, except to take it at face value, that that’s his policy,” he said in the interview with Saudi-owned Al Arabiya television.
“But I do know that often comments are made publicly and things can evolve that are different. If it is the policy, it’s very disturbing, it’s very troubling.....” 
The man has just concluded a complete major treaty with the Iranians. The administration just ran to the U.N. so they could lift vitally important sanctions from Iran, giving them the green light for further aggression. They did this before Congress, as agreed, could have a say, and as if the Congressional right to ratify treaties, under the Constitution, were something that could be waved. Now, he’s “disturbed” that the hideous tyrannical regime with which he’s been negotiating for years is just what it appears: a lawless monster intent on the destruction of America, Israel, and any rival in the Middle East.

“If it is the policy, it’s very disturbing, it’s very troubling.”
The Supreme Leader of an absolute theocratic dictatorship publicly announced this, to mass rallies, and Kerry says “If it is the policy.” He’s just given away the store at the U.N., and now, a few days later, he is very disturbed and troubled.

Absolutely amazing! This is for the Idiot Olympics. Kerry is in a class by himself.  

Friday, October 2, 2015

Rumors of John Kerry and a Noble Peace Prize

Earl of Ketchup -The Duke of Heinz
WFB - Growing speculation that John Kerry will receive a Nobel Peace Prize for finalizing the Iranian nuclear deal is generating renewed criticism of his close relationship with the Iranian foreign minister, Javad Zarif, a key public face for the theocratic regime who is rumored to be a probable co-recipient with Kerry.
Rumors have been circulating for months that Kerry and Zarif will be co-selected for the prize. The Stockholm International Peace Research Institute, a leading Swedish think-tank, recommended in July that the two be selected for the Nobel in 2016.
Lawmakers and Washington insiders who have worked for years on the Iran portfolio have reacted with shock to the rumors, telling the Washington Free Beacon in multiple interviews that both Kerry and Zarif are unfit to receive the prize:
“We have seen Nobel Prizes that appeared to be awarded to people who have acted staunchly to the detriment of Israel’s existence, and if that is their inclination this time, I think Secretary Kerry should be first runner up for the Nobel Prize, right behind the Ayatollah,” said Rep. Louie Gohmert (R., Texas)....." 

A Noble Prize would be the 'Cream de la cream' of Kerry's tenure in office, who over the  difficult period of negotiations sustained 4 different serious wounds, including a broken leg, and awarded (to himself) a record number of  Purple Heart Medals for wounds sustained in service to his country. 

Monday, April 28, 2014

Kerry Continues Theme of Foreign Policy Incompetence

Kerry's newest strategy seems to be: fail at an agreement, then put foot in mouth.

Our bumbling Secretary of State, John Kerry, took his clown act to the Trilateral Commission on Friday, and managed to outrage much of the civilized world by warning that Israel was on the verge of becoming an “apartheid state” if it didn’t give the Palestinians their own nation. 
Earl of Ketchup / Duke of Heinz
“The US secretary of state describes Israel as an apartheid state. Us? The Jewish state that rose to defend itself from existential threats? Kerry, shame on you! There are some words that must not be uttered.” - Yisrael Katz
“If he used the repugnant language of Israel’s adversaries and accusers to express concern for Israel’s future, it was undiplomatic, unwise and unfair.” - Abe Foxman 

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

John Kerry Calls Election ‘downright embarrassing.’ Twitter Promptly Burns Him to a Crisp.....

The Earl of Ketchup / Duke of Heinz, Secretary of State and failed candidate for president John Kerry is upset about the 2016 election cycle.  On NBC Nightly News, Kerry revealed his sadness of perceptions of the election overseas by noting “There are moments when it is downright embarrassing.” (as if we should really care what people who wish they were us think).

NBC tweeted out his comment and as soon as the tweet went live , he was trounced for his own actions that made a mockery of America and reminded he himself had a hand in making America look absurd.  Here's just a sample:

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Now I Know Where the Inspiration for a Flip Cap on the Ketchup Bottles Came From.....

Secretary of State / Earl of Ketchup
John Kerry in 2004: George Bush is bad because he rushed to war without letting UN Inspectors finish their jobs and he was wrong for striking Iraq without a broad and deep coalition of allies joining the action!!

John Kerry in 2013: Barack Obama is awesome and doesn't need to wait for UN inspectors to finish their job in Syria because their investigation "can’t tell us anything . . . that we don’t already know" and Obama is displaying unique and strong leadership by striking Syria with no international coalition because it “will ensure that the United States of America makes our own decisions on our own timelines based on our values and our interests,” unconstrained by other countries’ opinions.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Congressional Skin Color Caucus Ordered Not To Criticize Obama

The chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) has asked it's members (you know the one's who are always sticking their faces in a microphone) to "limit comment" (STFU) on the issue of Commander Zero and The Earl of Ketchup's up coming diversion from Obama's growing ineptness at home until they are briefed by senior administration officials. An increasing number of Black lawmakers have voice dissent over the Obama administration’s war plans in Syria. 

Foreign Policy Mag:
"A congressional aide to a CBC member called the request “eyebrow-raising,” in an interview withThe Cable, and said the request was designed to quiet dissent while shoring up support for President Obama’s Syria strategy......"
"When asked if the White House requested the partial gag order, National Security Council spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden said “the Administration is reaching out to all Members to ensure they have the information they need to make an informed judgment on this issue.” Kirby said it was her boss’s request and was aimed at keeping members informed rather than silencing anti-war members......."
Plantation Secured! 

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Earl of Ketchup takes to the Senate Floor and Channels the Founding Fathers.

If The Founding Fathers Were Here Today They Would Vote Against Balanced Budget Amendment.

“As I have said in the past, the most compelling argument against this amendment doesn't come from me or from anyone on the floor. It actually comes from the real experts, the people who framed the Constitution of the United States. If they were here on the Senate floor today, they would against this amendment because it violates the Constitution's basic tenet which is major rule” .......Senator John Kerry Heinz

No Mr. Kerry, if the founders were here they would be tar and feathering politicians like yourself and parading you down Pennsylvanian Ave. in the back of a wagon for all to see! And only that after they had run out of rope.