Dorkus Maximus Breaks Ground for Historic Presidential Non-Library Library

There is something distinctly unhealthy for democracy in our new tradition of building bigger and bigger museums for each president as if they were pharaohs in ancient Egypt trying to construct bigger pyramids than those erected for their predecessors. Such institutions are a reflection of the inflation of each president into something earlier Americans would think of as a monarch rather than the elected leader of a republic. In this case we are talking about the inflated ego of one Barky Obama.

After a series of starts and stops and a lengthy legal battle with city and neighborhood residents who don't want it in the area and healthy bribes over construction clearance, Barky’s presidential library is pressing ahead with the site of the future non-archives.

According to the New York Times, it "won’t actually be a presidential library." There will be no research library on site, no physical archives room and none of Obama’s official presidential records. Instead, the Obama Foundation will pay to digitize and edit the roughly 30 million pages of unclassified paper records from the administration so they can be made available online, and presumably for the control to edit and rewrite history as needed to keep Barky out of prison.

But, there will be a Barky museum where no doubt Chris Mathew's famous leg will be on display, a sports space, a test kitchen, an art plaza, a kids’ area, and a new branch of the Chicago Public Library to compliment the giant egotistical monument to #44.

Back in 2017, Middle Finger News™ was given an exclusive sneak peek of the mock-up of the proposed entrance to the hallowed halls of The Obama Presidential Library (pictured below) after Barky's Presidential Farewell Speech.

And our own intrepid Middle Finger News Service Senior Political Reporter and Man About Town, Earl of Taint, early in 2015 submitted his own design to the Presidential Library Conceptual Design Contest.

We are still waiting eagerly to see if Earl will be honored with his design acceptance as the final design graphic has not been released.  If so, Earl will personally be on-site to oversee the massive complex construction of Library, Amusement Park and Progressive Friendly "George Michael Memorial Public Restroom" facilities.

You can read his full report here.

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Barky Obama Reminds Us He's Still a D**k Head

After months of speculation, Barky O' has finally endorsed his former VP in his bid for the White House. It was a brave move considering everyone else has dropped out and no one else to endorse. In an excruciatingly long 12-minute endorsement, the 44th President says that making Biden his “vice president was one of the best decisions I ever made” and that he “has all the qualities we need in a president right now.” He did it with a straight face too. 

He tried to reassure Bernie’s socialist soft skull minions by saying, “Joe already has what is the most progressive platform of any major party nominee in modern history.” That may be news to Biden, but I'm sure someone will tell him if they ever unlock the basement door. 

And of course Barky couldn't leave it at the endorsement at hand and show the dignity in his words former presidents are accustomed to showing, he had to prove he is still a giant dick.

“One thing everybody has learned by now is that the Republicans occupying the White House and running the US Senate are not interested in progress. They’re interested in power… They’ve given polluters unlimited power to poison our air and our water… The other side has a massive warchest. The other side has a propaganda network with little regard for the truth.”

There may have been only one thing he said that I can agree with: “Our country’s future hangs on this election.”

I love your new campaign ad! pic.twitter.com/zXuTuIm4jk

— Carpe Donktum🔹 (@CarpeDonktum) April 14, 2020

Los Angeles Renames Three Mile Road After Famous Skid Mark

City fathers of the law-defiant, out-of-touch, morally bankrupt, sanctuary city of Los Angeles renamed a 3.5-mile long city street, formerly known as Rodeo Road, officially ‘Obama Boulevard’ on Saturday. The Boulevard, not to be confused with Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, runs through a predominately black neighborhood that includes Rancho Cienega Park.

While Mr. Obama was unable to attend the dedication ceremony, he did express his gratitude in a letter to the tens of hundreds who gathered in his honor.  It's good to see he’s achieving as much in retirement as he achieved as President, and demonstrate what a boy born in his grandmother's back room in Kenya can become.

With mostly left turns and the road signs that appear after you pass the turn, the newly-named street intersects with Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. The new street name that indicates you definitely made a wrong turn intersects with the old street name that indicates you definitely made a wrong turn. As Chris Rock once said, the last street you want to be on at night is any of them named after Martin Luther King.

Signs along the presently feces, homeless camp and used needle free street, state the work of revitalizing the area was funded by Barack's stimulus package' but oddly no work was known to every have been done. Never has so many bestowed so much on so few who have done so little to earn it. It seems like the less a politician accomplishes, the more they're lionized.

Quite ironical, Obama was apparently unable to inspire investment in the community during his eight years, but now there is an “opportunity zone” adjacent to Obama Boulevard as the result of the work done by Housing and Urban Affairs Secretary Ben Carson and President Trump’s 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act.

In a related story: Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti has effectively ended homelessness in the city by planting a mural and encouraging people to walk. If you don’t understand how that fixes everything, you’re probably one of those alt-right Nazi guys with a MAGA hat.
 

(Daily Wire)
(La Times)

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage ~