Middle Finger Symphony Theater

On Fanning the Flames

"Race has now replaced rule of law officially. In one speech our president has reversed 60 years of healing the racial divide and desteoyed the dream of Dr. King. The result will be an exact reversal of the conditions existing before The Civil Rights Act. And the hardest hit will be the children in whose name the left always claims to act. Well done Obama". - Pendark

Why We Will All Bail Out Detroit

Ricochet

Yesterday, the city of Detroit filed the largest municipal bankruptcy in America.

Prediction - Everyone here, or, more properly, everyone's children and grandchildren, will bail out Detroit for 100 cents on the dollar in one of the largest acts of crony capitalism ever recorded. Hell you say?

Background - Berkshire Hathaway has a municipal bond insurance company - Berkshire Hathaway Assurance Corporation - that insures municipal bonds, including some from Detroit.

Berkshire Hathaway is run by Warren Buffett. Mr. Buffett is well known for several things: his outstanding business acumen growing Berkshire Hathaway, his generous philanthropy, and his support of Barack Obama, including fundraising for Obama's 2012 campaign.

Union Kicker - Already municipal employee unions are screaming that the pensions that contributed to Detroit's insolvency must be protected from the bankruptcy proceedings.

Summary -In the coming weeks, we will see Barack Obama step behind the teleprompter and deliver a speech about how government is what we all do together. He'll say that we all have to pull together as a nation to see Detroit return to its once-proud status as the industrial capital of America. The speech will give everyone at MSNBC chills and the process will begin.

Every citizen who pays taxes and balances their books. Every state that balances its budget. Every solvent municipality in America. We will all get the bill to bail out Detroit so that Mr. Buffet's Berkshire Hathaway Assurance Corporation will not have to pay off defaulted municipal securities issued by Detroit. The unions that contributed to the city's demise will live happily ever after.

At least we have two parties in Washington that supported bailing out GM, TARP, etc. The bailout will, if nothing else, be expedient and efficient.

image via The LookingSpoon

Retailers Hit Back at Annoying Shoppers

Industry Launches 'RateThatCustomer.com'

Following the growth in review sites where consumers can rate the services they use, retailers have welcomed the launch of the website RateThatCustomer.com  which allows them to rate and review their experiences with individual customers.

‘It’s finally payback time,’ said Thomas Brindle, assistant manager of The Reefer Bookshop in Chicago which has already joined the new site. ‘A recent customer left us negative feedback because we wouldn’t give him a 60% discount and one of our cashiers ‘has acne’. Now we can go to RateThatCustomer and let everyone know that he’s a tight ass cheap bastard who only needed 60 minutes a month on his phone contract because he hasn’t got any friends to call.’

With a 5-star rating function and the ability to upload a photo of the customer being reviewed, RateThatCustomer.com already has over 5,000 businesses subscribing to the service. Customers are marked on their ‘browsing-to-buying ratio’, ‘politeness to staff’, ‘suggestibility’, and even their ‘looks and appearance’.

‘Anyone in retail knows you can’t just lavish high-quality customer service on everyone who comes through the door,’ explained the site’s founder. ‘RateThatCustomer helps retailers to avoid expending effort on the serial complainers and the timewasters who’ll never buy anything. In fact data from the site shows that the customer is always right only 0.3% of the time.’

Some customers have criticised the new service, however. After stumbling across her review by chance when Googling herself, Doreen McAllister was ‘furious’ at receiving a 1-star rating from retailer Monsiers Dress shop for ‘trying on four different sizes of the same dress without buying any of them’, and then ‘loudly announcing that the quality is better in Brickeners ’.

‘The review makes me look like some kind of snob’, said Doreen. ‘They said I asked for assistance with absolutely everything and called me a ‘pestomer’ rather than a customer. But what they said about my appearance was just spiteful. It’s not at all the case that I was too fat for any of the dresses, and I certainly won’t be taking their advice and going to 'Academy Sports' to pick up a tent instead.’

Thank You Jared: Why I'll Never Hit the Looking Spoon Site Again

HERE'S THE REASON WHY

Alex Jones Reveals Second Shooter in Zimmerman Case

Noted conspiracy theorist Alex Jones 

In possibly one of the most riveting and important events of our lifetime, a man known as George Zimmerman is now caught in the middle of a racial divide that exist in our great country. Zimmerman was charged with committing second-degree murder and manslaughter, and after the jury has weighed the evidence and deliberated thus rendering their verdict, Alex Jones drops the bomb on what actually happened to young Trayvon Martin that one terrible night.

Jones took to the microphone on his daily Internet broadcast earlier today to give (in his words) the world a treat. The treat of truth and justice. Jones explained – using a series of PowerPoint slides – that there was, in fact, a second shooter that took Trayvon to his grave.

Trayvon, according to Jones, was actually working undercover as part of the Cyber Command/Lockheed Martin censorship regime violating Americans’ constitutional rights, covering up cell tower electromagnetic weapon assaults on citizens. He goes further to even call Trayvon a “lame psy-op, perpetrating the worst social manipulation and mind-control games in the history of the United States.”

It is Jones belief that Trayvon was put down for trying to “get out of the game.” From what we can see from one of Jones slides, he offers irrefutable proof that George Zimmerman is completely innocent on all counts.

A Would you Like a Little Snark With That Danish?