Diogenes' Middle Finger

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

WH: Twitter Account Was One of Obama's “Top Accomplishment” in 2015

With not very many domestic policy accomplishments to point to, besides maybe lowering your golf handicap, and your foreign policy as largely a dumpster fire of failure and embarrassment, a year-end review list of your "best moments" might be slim.

Which explains why this year the White House's 2015 retrospective listed "joining Twitter" as one of President Obama's top events. Now, as the President's social media reach has expanded, and at least a chunk of his free time dedicated to spouting his every thought in 140 characters or less, the White House knows it has achieved at least something. But simply avoiding the President's speeches and press conferences in traditional media will not completely erase him from your daily life.

“Americans also shared in some more personal moments with the President, like when he walked across the Edmund Pettus Bridge 50 years after the first marches from Selma to Montgomery,” the blog post said. “Or when he sang ‘Amazing Grace’ in honor of those who lost their lives to gun violence in Charleston, South Carolina.”

“Or when he launched his own Twitter and Facebook accounts to share personal messages on stories that touched millions across the country and reflected who we are as a people,” it said.

“Whether it’s the best posts on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube or unforgettable moments with the First Lady or the Vice President, you’ll find all of the best ways to remember 2015 right here,” the post continued. “So take a look back at some of the most memorable moments of the year that meant so much for the American people, for President Obama, and for all of us here at the White House.”

Obama's historic Iran nuclear weapons ~~fiasco~~ deal, which has since been acknowledged as "unbinding," and his role in ending global climate change and saving the world from us went curiously unmentioned. Maybe they're saving those accomplishments for his epic biopic.

Thank You Larwyn’s Linx for the Linkage!

Middle Finger Theater Presents:

The Last Hand Gun on Earth

Hillary Faces the Music

Image via Springer's Blog

Monday, January 4, 2016

The DMF Asshat of the Year 'Lifetime Achivement Award'

It's been awhile since we have awarded the honor of 'Ass Hat of the Year' at DMF. The main reason being that in the later years of the Obama administration there has been so many qualified candidates in politics and the media falling out of the trees we simply could not narrow it down to one. But with the sunset soon to descend on the career of one special Ass Hat of note, we must take this opportunity to recognize his stupendous Ass Hattery as we prepare to say ~~goodbye~~ good riddance.

Our award winner came to national prominence in 2004 after the citizens of the great state of South Dakota came to their senses and booted off the public payroll (because they had grown increasingly frustrated by his aggressive opposition to most of George W's legislative initiatives and judicial nominations) the former King of the Senate Democrats, that vile and corrupt little man Tom Daschle. The dem's then chose as there Grand Poobah the socially conservative, pro-life pro-gun Senator from Nevada.

The Stormin' Mormon, Dingy Harry Reid.

Harry was an odd choice for an odd time. It was the dark days of the Bush years: tax cuts for everyone and burning Dixie Chicks CDs and bombing the shit out of the crazy Muslim's sandbox.

In 2006, Harry became the true exalted King of the Senate Democrats, The Majority Leader. He quickly shed his cloak of moderation and became the consummate obstructionist of all and everything Republican.

In 2008 Harry was a major force in backing as a candidate for President the black guy of which he described as: "light-skinned" appearance and speaking patterns "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." Harry soon began, with the help of his House pal Nancy Pelosi, ramming the Negro with no Negro dialect agenda down the throats of America.

At some point, age began to catch up with Harry. He began to say stupid things, even for a King of the Senate Democrats. Who can forget that strange and bizarre press conference during the 2012 election of which out of the blue Harry said this about Mitt Romney:

“He didn’t pay taxes for 10 years! Now, do I know that that’s true? Well, I’m not certain,”

After Republicans seized control of the Senate in the devastating midterm election of 2014, Senate Majority Leader Harry was demoted once again to the lowly Senate Minority Leader position from which he came. The demotion was devastating and the slide into crazy became fast and steep.

Harry began ranting and raving daily, in almost all his time at the Senate podium obsessing about the Koch Brothers. Day after day, speech after speech the ugly face of Koch addiction reared it's head until even some in the media started to question Harry's condition.

Then last year, tragedy stuck. While in his bathroom the little boxer got roughed up by getting on the bad side of his exercise resistance band named Vinnie. It beat him up pretty good, breaking a number of ribs and bones in his face, but seems to have cured his Koch addiction in the process. He should stop working out with big Italian guys.

Then last March, Dingy Harry announced he was retiring from the Senate. It must be a bitch for a power hungry politician to be regulated to second string. But his constituents are grateful. A brothel in Nevada with an extinctive sex menu has offered to host Harry's retirement party to thank him for efforts that have “positively affected” the hookers of Nevada and health care for their tools of the trade.

The way we look at it, if Ted Kennedy was the "Lion of the Senate" Dingy Harry was the "Turd in the Punch bowl". And if you're driving through Nevada and see some guy in sunglasses mumbling and wander around aimlessly in the desert, just keep driving.......

*Thank You MJA for the Linkage*