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Monday, July 31, 2023
Sunday, July 30, 2023
That Time We Hired Joe Biden to Work For Us
From the Dank Archives of Middle Finger News Service. - February 1, 2015
Bulletin:
For Immediate Release
MFNS WORLD HQS.
"Middle Finger News Service, LLC (MFNS) one of the world’s largest and most admired media conglomerates announced today the addition of a new science reality show to their spring prime time cable lineup. Hosted by Vice President Joe Biden, each hour long episode will demonstrate the laws of nature as they impact our lives in everyday situations. Appearing as “Uncle Joe”, the ever-affable and proto-clueless Biden had previewers rolling in the aisles as he explains basic forces like gravity, resistance, fluid dynamics, energy/friction/heat and the physics of maple syrup in the context of walking, hitting your head, hair restoration and swimming naked with the grandkids....."
Friday, July 28, 2023
Middle Finger Symphony Theater
~ No Tuxedos Required ~
Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music
Labels:
BluesJunky,
Middle Finger Symphony Theater
Thursday, July 27, 2023
Just Throwing It Out There........
The English Tudors, with their characteristic Machiavellian insights and methods, implemented a strategy in Celtic Ulster called “surrender and regrant.” In theory, the King of All England had title to all of Ireland pursuant to papal decree and the invention of a “Kingdom of Ireland” as part of the English royal title. Most of Ireland was already occupied by an Anglo-Norman aristocracy. However, Ulster had never been fully subjugated in the 400 years since some guy named Norman invaded in the twelfth century. The Tudors increased military presence in Ireland but recognized that full conquest would be costly and difficult.
So old Henry VIII’s people concocted an “offer that cannot be refused.” The landholders and clan chieftains were offered this deal - Renounce all rights and claims under your inheritance under Celtic tradition and law and instead recognize the claim of the King of England. In return, the King will make you the earl or whatever of your current holdings. You get to keep everything with the sole proviso that it is conditional on your continued loyalty. Refuse, and sometime soon English soldiers will see to it that somebody else owns these properties.
It occurred to me that an analogous approach should be taken to reform the corrupt FBI.
Even if there were a 2024 election mandate to clean house, trying to seek out and fire the corrupt, politicized weasels responsible for hustling the “Russiagate” dossier, for lying about the Hunter Biden laptop, and for participating in the outrageous censorship campaigns would be inherently difficult because (1) there is not enough leverage to compel the truth from “Deep State” burrows and (2) civil service employment protections establish other barriers. Even with a reformed DOJ and honest FBI leadership, most of the wrong-doers will escape and go on to collect their pensions, then gigs on MSNBC.
So, following the model of Henry, a proposed solution in two steps. First, abolish the existing FBI in its entirety. At the exact same time, create a new agency (“FBI-2”) with a really cool new logo, with almost exactly the same functions, authorizations, and budget BUT an express prohibition against hiring anyone who was involved in or fails to disclose, cooperate or fully testify regarding certain enumerated abuses. So, all the field agents, technicians, actual caped crime fighters and clerical staff would be almost instantly rehired but the rats’ nest would be eliminated. Employment will be contingent on loyalty to FBI-2 with their cool new windbreakers with cool new logo, instead of to the old FBI. The incentives would be reversed and the testimony and documentary evidence could flow freely. Surrender loyalty to a corrupt agency and be regranted employment in a reformed one.
Other well known Tudor practices such as beheading might also appear to be salutary, but are barred by law and prudence–unless the election mandate is really large, of course.
Wednesday, July 26, 2023
Drunken Grandma of Death Points Her Boney Finger
One of the biggest attempts at disinformation ever perpetrated is the allegation that man-made global warming is our number one threat. The global warming hoax is the result of political chicanery backed up by faulty science and endorsed by the UN and the World Economic Forum. It has nothing to do with climate. It has everything to do with redistributing the world’s resources. (i.e. your money).
It started with the Bozo Sapiens at far-left think tank 'Center for American Progress' tweeting, “MAGA Republicans are pouring fuel on the climate crisis fire.” Using the summer heat as a leftist club, democrats have been quick to blame cyclical weather on Republicans. And, of course, Hillary couldn’t resist looking equally idiotic by doing so as well. And from results, she was quite successful.
The Drunken Grandma of Death seems to have stumbled outside and mistaken what we call “summer” for some sort of apocalyptic event because there is a heat wave washing over the country. A typical event for mid-summer in the United States to people who are sober.
From the shallow end of the pool of relevance, Ma Clinton took to the tweeter for a dose of her famous 'Blame Game' she's likened to do. She got Roasted.
Hot enough for you?
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) July 25, 2023
Thank a MAGA Republican.
Or better yet, vote them out of office. https://t.co/0MFC6rPq6o
Clinton’s tweet was made just eight days after a New York Times editorial calling on leaders to “politicize the weather.”.
More and more scientists have joined the dissent about climate change. Dr. John Clauser, co-winner of the 2022 Nobel Physics prize, calls the climate emergency scare a “dangerous corruption of science that threatens the world’s economy and the well-being of billions of people.” MIT Professor Richard Lindzen referred to the global warming crowd as a cult. “As with any cult,” Lindzen said, “once the mythology begins falling apart, instead of saying, oh, we were wrong, they get more and more fanatical.”
(Bizpac)
(NYT)
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