Fishnet Friday

Who Was It That Said: "We'll Take Over America Without Firing a Shot"

"I just see this as such an oppressive document that I was

completely shocked to see it on campus."

Yale University Campus Official Rips Up U.S. Constitution

"Well, I think that the Constitution means things to different people; like you said it is a flawed document and the people who wrote it are certainly flawed individuals in my mind. My personal feeling—and everybody’s entitled to their opinion—is that the people on the Supreme Court who wrote it against the same sex marriage were, you know, really out of their minds. They are smart people, and therefore I struggle to understand why they would hold such views".

Campus Reform

In a sequel to the outrageous Project Veritas video, originally reported by Campus Reform Tuesday, administrators at Cornell, Syracuse, and Yale Universities join their colleagues from Vassar in ripping up the Constitution in response to a fake student's complaints.

The first video depicted two different administrators at Vassar agreeing to shred a copy of the Constitution in an effort to soothe the feelings of a "student" (actually a Project Veritas reporter) who claimed to have been deeply upset and offended when she was offered a free copy by a group on campus.

In the second video, officials at Cornell, Syracuse, and Yale all offer similar responses, though several of them, lacking access to a shredder, had to tear or cut the document instead. Like the first, it is filmed in the undercover style made famous by the 2009 ACORN videos produced by James O'Keefe, who is also Project Veritas' founder.

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The Real CNBC Republican Debate

Bernie Sanders Says You Too Should Have the Right To Be Stoned........

Bernie Says You Should Be Able To Smoke Um If Ya Got Um

Introduces Senate Bill To Lift The Federal Ban On Marijuana

Bernie Sanders today introduced the 'Ending Federal Marijuana Prohibition Act', a bill to lift the federal ban on marijuana. The bill is companion legislation to H.R. 1013, the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act, a bill introduced in February.  But due to those ol' intolerant Republicans being stuck in the “just say no” mentality of the 1980s, this bill will not make it out of Congress. However, continually wasting time introducing these bills is still a vital step in achieving real change in the eyes of the lefties.

"American society has made great strides on numerous issues during the presidency of Barack Obama, but two great and intertwined challenges remain. The nation is making real bipartisan progress of criminal justice reform, but along with reforming the criminal justice system it is important to look at the decriminalization of marijuana. Progress takes persistence, nd the introduction of this bill is another milestone on the path to change."

Yeah, emptying out the jails of low level drug dealers who will run right out and get themselves a good job will be real cultural progress. And I know, I'll feel much safer driving down the street on weekends knowing every 10th car coming my direction is full of teenagers stoned out of their heads. Yes, the Obama Presidency has made great strides for America, and putting criminals back on the street and making pot legal will be the cherry on the top. You go Bernie!

Attention "Party of Science"

H/T Van der Leun

Trump Refuses to Take Sides in Big Contest

(Editor's Note: I defy the reader to not hear Trump's voice while reading his remarks below)

MFNS - Des Moines IA. - During a press conference today, our Middle Finger News Service reporter had a chance to ask the Republican front runner a question which he artfully dodged as only a politician can.

MFNS Reporter: Mr. Trump, to step away from the politics of the day for a moment, I'd like to ask about your thoughts on the big Alabama - LSU football game this weekend?

Trump: Now you see Ladies and Gentlemen of the press.......there is more in this world besides politics. You people should take a lesson from this guy...... here is a real Journalist.......Bless you my son........where have you been?  Yes, I'd be glad to talk about other things beside politics. You ask out the Alabama - LSU Game?..... are you kiddin' me? It's gonna be yuge......yuge I Tell ya! You kiddin' me......you seen the size of those guys?........  And those coaches?.......Great Guys. Tremendous guys! That Nick Saban.....cocky little guy.....I like that. He likes to win.....I like that......he yells at his people a lot......I like that......he's tremendous! Just Tremendous!  His team wears red......aaah... I can take it or leave it.....I'm partial to green myself.   And that Les Miles...... what a guy........wears that white hat all the time.....I like that.......I bet he even wears it to bed too.........and he's a sneaky little bastard that never gets rattled......I like that! Tremendous Guy....Just Tremendous! And I'm gonna tell ya......have you seen those LSU cheerleaders? Where do they get those teriffic girls I'm askin' ya? They're amazing!.....I gotta get Les Miles to let me build him a yuge new stadium.....you know his place is almost a 100 years old.....I... 

MFNS: Excuse me Mr Trump, what about the game?

Trump: The Game? It's gonna be friggin' yuge! You kiddin' me....two of the best facin' off face to face.....it gonna be a war.....it's gonna be terrific! And if it was me I'd be runnin' end sweeps.... double reverses......jump passes.....ya know.....give um a real show.....

MFNS: What about the score Mr Trump? Who do you think will win?

Trump: A tremendous game like this?.......ya know I gotta be truthful......I have a lot of amazing supporters in the great states of Louisiana and Alabama....terrific  supporters.......you wouldn't want me to alienate any of my voters.....that's not good politics.  I'll tell ya what ya do.....call my staff after the game and I'll tell ya who I think the winner will be. Look....Ya know this is always a yuge game.....yuge.....a teriffic battle......and I'll tell ya this......I'd probable take either team against anybody in the nation right now .....you kiddin' me......these are two really amazing teams..... tremendous teams! Just Tremendous!......and unlike most of these jerk-offs in the media here, I know I'll be watchin'..... Did I mention those stunning LSU cheerleaders.....I...

MFNS: Uh, Thank You for your answer, Mr. Trump......

Mr. Trump and Tiger Cheerleaders

First Lady Pounds Sand

First Lady Michelle Obama arrives in Doha, Qatar at al-Udeid air base joined by comedian Conan O’Brien for her ongoing International Clown Suit Tour Let Girls Learn initiative at the 2015 World Innovation Summit for Education.