Middle Finger Symphony Theater

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Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

Throwback Thursday: Tragedy Strikes the Hilton Hotel Empire

It is common knowledge to the regular readers of DMF that we have little no respect for the bed bug ridden Hilton Hotel Chain and their small minded personal vendetta toward DMF/MFNS that they insist on continuing.  And while we refuse to lower ourselves to their level and choose to ignore their closed minded prejudices against our Fair and Balanced editorial views and slam of our journalistic integrity, we can't help but share in their loss of one the more unfortunate members of the Hilton family empire.

RIP - Tinkerbell V. Hilton

Middle Finger News Service Wire

Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua Finally Dies of Embarrassment

(Beverly Hills) - The Chihuahua which Paris Hilton famously carried around in her handbag everywhere she went is believed  to have finally passed away from embarrassment over the weekend, we now can report. Hilton kept the poor, benighted animal in her handbag for 14 long, miserable years until it finally entered a far, far better world late Saturday night.

The Chihuahua, named Tinkerbell, is said to have died when the embarrassment of wearing ‘the most delightful little diamond-studded pink-frilled two piece and tiara’ finally tipped her over the edge into a terminal decline.

A source close to Tinkerbell said:

“For years she would spend her days mortified at the abomination she had become under Paris’ ownership. How many self-respecting dogs own cashmere sweaters and silk neckerchiefs?  She was derided amongst her own kind and longed for the blessed relief of eternal rest. Finally she is at peace.”

The fashion statement of keeping miniature animals in handbags first appeared in the early 2000’s among people who like their personal accessories to smell of dog piss, and has proven to be inexplicably popular among America's female 1% elite.  Entire breeds of miniature dog were created which existed solely to fill the clutch bags of witless socialites.

MFNS Fashion Correspondent Julian Ferret-Smartly: 

“It’s the end of an era really.  Paris single-handedly created the trend for tiny shit-machines in your handbag, and she stuck with it through thick and thin. I expect she’s completely distraught. What’s going to relieve itself in her purse now?”

A spokesman for Paris Hilton told us she hoped to move on from the death of her beloved pet, and aimed to start a new trend by keeping incontinent pigeons in her Purse.

When word of the tragic circumstances and death of Tinkerbell reached Pair Hilton's one time BFF Kim Kardashian , she tweeted:

"so sorry 4 your los. guess i better ree think draggin my monkey Kanye around so much"  #buhbyetinkerbell

______________________________________ 

From the Archives of  Middle Finger News Service - Originally Published May 2015 

Courtney's Wednesday Choice Open Tabs Just For You. Consequently, Your Voluntary Attendance is Required.

Courtney Is Judging You Now

* Ugly Dykes and Dostoevsky 

   Don't know why the rear end of a 59' Chevy Impala comes to mind......

 
 *  Cunk Yogurt Announces Run for WH. 

     Epic Tweeter Mockery Ensued.

 *  ‘We Will Drink Your Blood and Eat Your Skull’ 

     Mascara Poisoning?? A shriek from the loony-bin.

 

*  A Life Less Ordinary with a Real-Life Snow White

   Don't think even the weirdest dwarf wouldn't live with this chick. 

* Kickback City - That Dark Money in Your Pocket - 

   Now you know where all that money comes from that Nonprofits and NGOs contribute to 

   Dem's election coffers. 

* His penis was unavailable for comment. 

   You Guys! I swear. 

* The Machine Uprising 

   Day 7

*  The CIA Rectal Tool Kit.

    Not to worry. There's also a plan B

*  What does a Commie Millionaire married to a crazy Code Pink chick do with his spare change?

    Very Interesting Read

BONUS LINK: 24 hr. Live Gaza Camera Skyline Video Coverage 

Mexican Cartels Issue a Letter of Gratitude to Their "Man of the Year."

(MFNS)- Guano Mexico- The hostile Northern Mexican Cartels called a temporary truce long enough to issued a joint communique to the White House stating their undying gratitude for what they called "Outstanding Work on Behalf of the Cartels Man of the Year" for 2023.
  

Cartel Man of the Year - El Presidente' Joe Biden

In the communique they praised Biden for "reversing previous leader's hindering border protections" and "spoon feeding his useful idiots in the media the cover story that the border was closed, to which they dutiful repeated to their audience of gringo retards, helping give free reign to violate the sovereign border mostly unimpeded and away from most prying eyes of the press. Well played Mr. Biden."

They went on to confirm that with Biden's help more than 9 million illegals' cross the border mostly unopposed and into the open arms of the border patrol after being extorted for millions by the cartels to be led across safely. They also praised "El Presidente' for the opportunity to "export central America's undesirables across the border to relive the jail overcrowding and to help America with it's lack of diversity"

Praise was showered for the "opportunity for lucrative human trafficking of women and unaccompanied children for the benefit of the perverted liberal elites and the criminal underground forced sex work." 

The cartels were especially in praise of El Presidente' Biden and his pups in the media for the ability to quash any suggestion of responsibility on Biden's part for the growing number of deaths on the streets of America from the large quantities of drugs they were able to import during undetected night crossing in the last three years. The fentanyl alone worth millions, was enough to kill every American while border patrol was feeding and babysitting border jumpers. 

With the massive amounts of money Biden has given the Cartels opportunity to make from extortion of illegals and the importation of drugs and child sex slaves, the heavily armed cartels thanked Biden for control of most of northern Mexico and large sections of border.

The communiqué ended with anticipations of continuing non-aggression and good wishes and hopes for even further cooperation in the future. 

~ Thank You Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~

A Good Monday Morning

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

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~ MFST ~

Your Official Almost Semi-World Famous Irredeemable Big Ass Mid-Week Open Thread.

It's been another wild week on the third stone. And your Beloved Blog Edtrix,who loves each and every one of you, is interested in your thoughts on our continuing descent into chaos we are witnessing, both here and abroad.

 

You know the ground rules. And use the Coasters. The floor is yours.......

 

This Week Your Glorious Exercise in Free Speech is Brought to You By:

The Sandwich Massachusetts Dept.of Public Safety