Middle Finger Symphony Theater

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Brought to You By BluesJunky - Honorary Chair of Music - Middle Finger Symphony Music Director

There's a Reason The Good Lord Put a Wide River Between Mississippi and Louisiana

Last week a Tiger had a group of boys from Mississippi come over to his house. The Tiger even let them play with his ball. But the boys from Mississippi got rowdy and started throwing the ball around in the Tiger's house and then punched him in the nose!  Now the Tiger didn't get mad, he just played with his food for awhile. After a little rest, the Tiger came out and ran 7 plays, and scored 4 touchdowns.......then ate them. 

This week another group of Mississippi boys come over to play in the Tiger's House. This group has a bad reputation (they call themselves Rebels *snork*) and are known for their bad habit of throwing balls in peoples houses. 

Now there is two things the Tiger doesn't like, besides Florida Roosters. One is people throwing the ball around in his house (the tiger has shutdown the 8th and 13th best passing offense in college football) and the second thing the Tiger dislikes is people hanging around his goal line and messing up the pretty purple and gold paint in the end zone (the Tiger has give up the fewest TDs in the nation through week 7). So those rowdy Rebel boys should take heed of what happened to the last two groups of Mississippi boys who came across the river to play in the Tiger house ........ else they might get eaten too.

Ole Miss comes into Tiger Stadium for the 105th meeting of the rivals with the #1 passing offense in the SEC and a defense last against the run, giving up 450 yds per game. No one has successfully thrown long on the Tigers yet this year, and they have the Big Mo and #7 and #5. in the backfield.  Advantage LSU.


I say Tigers by 10  ✔



#1 Alabama v #6 Texas A&M
For all intents and proposes this IS the SEC Championship game.
This one is going to be brutal. But The Tide play a solid, basic, well executed mistake free game that can beat you ever time.  A&M may keep it close, but the tide forces mistakes....and makes you pay. ( highest scoring defense in the nation) But all is not lost for the loser of this game. A one loss SEC team would possibly be a better playoff team then a two loss ACC or Big 12 Champion.
I say The Tide by 12+  ✔  

Arkansas v Auburn
The hogs have been my upset favorites this season (2 for 2) and for some reason the sports monkey are heavily favoring the Auburn Tigers in this match. Wrong again monkeys.  Auburn hasn't beat anybody worthy yet, and won't this week either.
I say Hogs by 7 ✖  Okay, I was wrong. Auburn is for real....

✔  Non prediction prediction: Unranked Penn St. will embarrass #2 Ohio St. again on national TV for the second week in a row by making the Bucknutts sweat and playing them close.   #3 Michigan continues their tough schedule of sub .500 powerhouses cupcakes.


After going 3-1 last week, Diogenes is 14-4 for the season.....

The Whiner-in-Chief Tries to Lecture Trump

Thin-skinned Obama has a propensity to blame

everyone else for his failures

from LifeZette
by Keith Koffler of WH Dossier

President Obama this week waded into the general election with his customary grace, instructing Donald Trump to stop “whining” that the contest might be rigged.

“If you start whining before the game’s even over, if whenever things are going badly for you and you lose — you start blaming somebody else — then you don’t have what it takes to be in this job,” Obama said. “I’d invite Mr. Trump to stop whining and go try to make his case to get votes.”

Obama asking someone not to whine is a bit like Miley Cyrus telling Katy Perry to put some clothes on. Obama has been whining since the moment he took office. If there’s ever been a whinier commander-in-chief, then he whined privately, because there’s no record of such incessant presidential moaning.

Obama has literally spent his entire presidency whining about his predecessor, who, in Obama’s view, left him with a task too Herculean to overcome.

As Obama failed consistently to right the economy and every “Summer of Recovery” became a winter of economic discontent, he never tired of blaming George W. Bush for the economy — even years after Bush stopped having anything to do with it.

"If we had taken office during ordinary times, we would have started bringing down these deficits immediately," Obama whined in 2010.

"I inherited a big debt," he whined in March 2011........." 

READ MORE 

Bill Clinton Issues Challenge to Donald Trump

MFNS - Former president Bill Clinton has weighed in on revelations that Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has exhibited appalling behavior toward women, including making sexually explicit comments as recently as 11 years ago, and socializing with scantily clad Playboy models in the 1990s.

"I’ve got to say that I’m impressed by Trump’s blatant perving," Clinton told  MFNS presidential dalliances correspondent A. Hola. 

"He possesses the unrepentant lecherousness of a real pro, a fellow for whom the words ‘hands off, creep’ mean nothing, because no one has dared to say them to him before."

However, Clinton acknowledges that if he and Trump were to go head-to-head in a perving battle, he would handily defeat the New York property developer.

"Has he ever dared to goose a female head of state while 100 reporters are watching, nor has he ever coerce a women’s volleyball team into giving him a private nudie show in the Oval Office at 2 a.m., saying it was a matter of national security? How many ladies has he actually bagged? Only 50, 60 max? When I was at the top of my game, my little black book was more like a 32-volume set of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Ol’ Hillary used to ask why I was journaling so much at night."

The former Arkansas governor and twice-elected president went on to say that the public has a right to know, once and for all, who is pervier between the two of them. 

"If you’re listening Donnie, I challenge you to an old-fashioned tell-all, just like we used to do in Arkansas, back when I was a shoeless country boy selling crickets to fishermen for nickels to buy a gander at old widow McCracken’s invalid daughter while she bathed in a feeding trough behind the barn. Just you, me, a TV crew, and the best true stories of unwanted fondling and nonconsensual humping you can muster."

"We’ll see who’s got bragging rights. Till then, sure, let the media run with their little ‘Donald Trump is a bona fide perv’ narrative. But we all know who’s the best at that game."

This is Your Brain on Liberalism

Electronic Voting Counting. Ways to Steal an Election.

The Voting Machines In The Feature Film 'HACKING DEMOCRACY' Will Count America's Votes In The

November Elections.

HACKING DEMOCRACY follows tenacious Seattle grandmother / investigator, Bev Harris, and her band of extraordinary citizen-activists as they set out to answer one simple question: How does America count its votes? 

Proving America's votes can be stolen without a trace culminates in a duel between the Diebold corporation's voting machines and a computer hacker from Finland – with America’s democracy at stake.

The hack of the Diebold voting system in Leon County, Florida, is real. It was verified by computer scientists at UC Berkeley. 

Here's an 8 minute sample clip:

Irrelevant Land Whale's New Spectacle "TrumpLand"

"The shitshow isn't over. It appeals to the darker instinct of a country that has made some mistakes, whether it’s voting for Reagan or Nixon or Bush or the professional wrestler in Minnesota."

I know y'all are all excited to hear Michael Moore has a new movie propaganda piece. And it's probable no surprise it's not a glowing documentary about the life of Donald Trump, but just another film that no one but a full leftard will probably ever see.  So I thought I'd send this along from The Hollywood Reporter (but without all their usual starstruck drooling) to satisfy your curiosity, and so you can save your $12.50 to spent on beer, chips or another Make America Great Again Hat.  You're Welcome.

"Michael Moore has unveiled Michael Moore in TrumpLand, a surprise film he screened for the first time at New York City’s IFC Center on Tuesday night for free. The live performance film — which sees Moore speaking about the two candidates onstage, and supposing what would happen if each were to become the next U.S. president — was shot less than two weeks ago, over two consecutive nights at a venue in Wilmington, Ohio, in a county where Trump received four times as many votes as Clinton did in the primary elections. 

“To us, this was TrumpLand,” Moore explained, adding that he initially eyed the Ohio town of Licking, but was denied. “I wanted to do this not in a safe place, but in a place where we’d need a lot of security, which we had.” 

In the film, Moore notes that “white men over 35 are obsolete” in the 21st century (“Guys know it and that's why they're at the Trump rallies,” he says) and that women are not inherently problematic: “No women invented a hydrogen or atomic bomb, and no girls have gone into schools to shoot them up. … We're actually quite safe from 51 percent of the population,” he explains. “Whatever you're afraid of does not wear a dress — or a pantsuit.”

I guess there goes my theory he turned out to be the way he is because girls were beating him up for his lunch money too.... 

The movie also includes an imagined news segment that covers what would happen if Trump is inaugurated: aerial attacks on Mexican border towns, an official TV news channel operated by Breitbart and Roger Ailes, and the deportation of Rosie O'Donnell to the American Samoa. Afterward, the filmmaker discusses Clinton with the audience, playing a segment of her impassioned Wellesley commencement speech and supposing that, as Pope Francis did to the Catholic Church, Clinton can stimulate progress that benefits “the greater good” of the country. “The enemy of my enemy is who I’m voting for on Nov. 8,” he says in the film. 

"I’m gonna do something here and give people positive reasons to vote for her.  Look for the good in Hillary."  

Well,  that explains why the movie is only 73 minutes long.