Jealous Rage at the Shoet-Yuu Education Camp

NORK NEWS - As reported by the Middle Finger News Service North Korean Bureau Friday, controversy raged last week after pictures leaked of DPRK Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un and his daughter, previously unseen by the public.  Kim's daughter, Kim Ju-ae (roughly translated "Portabella Brianna Kim") is shown walking hand in hand with Mr. Kim in the leaked image.  

The controversy centered around the young Kim's schoolmates when it was reveled she was not only allowed a coming out party, but among the lavish presents, her own portable ICBM with matching mobile launcher said to be engrave with "From your Loving Supreme Leader,Daddy". (Look Down)

Portabella & Flathead Kim

A jealous fever turned to near riotous conditions ensued after the news overcame the all female student body of the Shoet-Yuu Finishing School and Education Camp over the blatant privilege of their classmate, Kim. The latest word is the situation is said to have been handled with delicate negotiation by the school's armed Internal Security and school's perimeter armored guard.

The mysterious North Korean Shoet-Yuu Education Camp, is safely isolated somewhere in the heavily forested northern mountains.

At age 3, and without outside distractions of family for the next 12 years, select young Korean girls are given an elite, sterile, world class Korean education.  Then at age 15 returned to society as an example of the Superiority of North Korean culture and to be married and stand in full support of their committee chosen brave husband warrior & defender of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea. 

In a side note: US Teacher's Union leader, Randy Weingarten, has expressed interest in visiting the Shoet-Yuu Education Camp facility to take notes on the Korean model for improving the American education system.

Most Interesting Job in Government : Joe Biden's Sign Language Interpreter

A usually lighthearted moment that a lot of Americans watch on the nightly news every year, this year’s WH Thanksgiving Turkey pardoning ceremony on the South Lawn was so strange that even the sign language interpreter who appeared next to Biden on the White House video feed seemed momentarily but genuinely shocked.

After pardoning turkeys Biden turned to Ronnie Parker of Circle S Ranch in Monroe, North Carolina, who raised the birds: “How many turkeys you got down there — you raising?” Parker replied "about nine and a half million turkeys a year.”

Biden, seemingly stunned by the high number, immediately made a comparison that those watching had a tough time deciphering — and his response left sign language interpreter Elsie Stecker with her mouth wide open.

Bidens handlers need a voice double. Someone really take immediate cut his feed and take over. Absolutely the most embarrassing loser I've ever seen.

— Jamie (@realJamieBurns) November 21, 2022

After he made the comment, whose meaning nobody seemed able to comprehend, the president immediately turned to the turkey on the table as asked

“And the — anyway. You wanna talk?”

There was no fowl comment from the birds as they were quickly whisked away to safety. 

A Good Monday Morning

Courtney's Sunday Choice Open Tabs Just For You. Consequently, Your Participation is Required.

Courtney is Judging You

About 90 minutes after midnight, it all went sideways when the discussion turned to transsexuals and women’s rights. The guests were young, but she’d worked with them long enough to be comfortable with the idea of unwinding with them late into the night......."

Through her lawyer, Kay found out her managers thought she “would need to be re-educated.” These fascists discussed sending her to re-education programs such as those offered by something called Mermaids and another something called Gendered Intelligence.  (These are the type of people who will demand you deny your maker one day)

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There is nothing funnier than watching leftist Punchinellos beclown themselves: Remember when the FBI raided Trump’s home supposedly looking for “nuclear secrets” a few months back? Guess how that turned out? (Please forward this article to your liberal sister harpy-in-law and her blue-haired, trans-pansexual, gelding lady-boyfriend who clung like sad, tragic barnacles to the embarrassing lie that Trump was trying to sell nuclear missiles to the Kaiser — or whatever it is they needed to believe.)

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 It really is all about that Bass. "We looked at things like what kinds of rhythms most pull people into that steady beat that we groove along with, and what kinds of interesting, syncopated, complex rhythms make us really drawn in and want to move. The lab for this experiment wasn't the classic fluorescent lights, white coats and goggles setup.  (Reader Beware: let it be known that your Blog Editrix is capable at any time of exercising tremendous power over the reader by mesmerizing them into tribal rhythmical ecstasy with a fretless Alembic - You Have been warned)

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Although this could be perceived as a long-standing myth, a German intercourse researcher called Dr. Werner Habermehl apparently conducted several studies that supported this assumption. (Being born of the Auburn persuasion, I tend to agree with most of his points). 

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Michelle Obama: Americans ‘weren’t ready’ for my natural hair: 

Thank You Mo for saving use from your obvious ghetto girl side. We know it was difficult......

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

 ~ No Tuxedos Required ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Middle Finger Symphony Chair of Music

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Throwback Thursday: Horrific Night House Chamber Was Temporarily Evacuated

From the Middle Finger News Service Archives - Jan 2017

 

MFNS-WASHINGTON DC - Late Friday night near panic struck the Chamber of the House of Representatives during a debate before those present of a bill sponsored by democrats for $350 Billon in federal funding for the construction of "Transgender Only Driving Lines" within California's Federal Highway system. The bill was Sponsored by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal.) 

The debate was interrupted when House Speaker Paul Ryan notice Pelosi, at the dais at the time, head began to violently quiver from side to side. Middle Finger News Congressional Correspondent, Ima Gonagetu spoke to Speaker Ryan after the incident:

"I knew something was wrong when Minority Leader Pelosi began slurring her words and her face began to contort and could hear a metallic popping sounds...... and then heard the House Clerk scream and saw blood gushing from her forearm as she passed out and fell face first onto her desk....... I yelled THERE SHE BLOWS and ran for the door....."

What many who worked closely with Pelosi over the years feared would someday happen, happened. The permanent metal staples from her numerous massive face-lifts had begun to come loose. There was shrapnel in the air.

Along with the House Clerk, others wounded included the august Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) who survived a flying staple injury on the cheek. 

"I'm Okay. I feel honored to have shed blood in this hallowed hall in an honorable cause for our Transgendered brothers and sisters....or huh... ......as honored as when I got my head bashed in with a brick doing up some trouble during the Civil Rights movement." 

The few in congress who were there ignoring Pelosi's speech ducked under their desk for cover while others ran for the door. Many of the members later found metal staples lodge in their suit coats.

One such Congressman was Rep. Bullet-Head Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) who told us of his harrowing experience: 

"There was fear in the air when everyone realized what was going on. I hadn't been that scared since last time I walked through my district in Baltimore! It was scary I tell you!" 

Minority Leader Pelosi was restrained and removed from the House floor, later to be spotted exiting a black SUV at Walter Reed Army Hospital with a large Walmart bag over her head.

DEVELOPING...

Okay, He's Running. Your Thoughts...

NOTE: As Always, All Opinions Are Welcome Here. Stimulating Debate Is Not Discouraged.