Capital Hill Police Issue Alert

MIDDLE FINGER NEWS SERVICE

Capital Hill Police
Wednesday -1:00 AM
For Immediate Release:

Capital Hill Police do hereby issue warning to all Congressional members, their staff and all Capital Hill support employees to DO NOT position oneself either on purpose or by accident between the Senator from New York, Chuck Schumer, and any Network News Reporter, camera or microphone this Wednesday morning. 

The risk of being knock down or run over and trampled by the Senator while rushing to get to any nearby microphone or camera to take full credit for saving the country with the Coronavirus Stimulus Bill negotiated late last night is considered very high and likely. 

The Senator's past history make it imperative all personnel on the Hill today to be on the lookout, be of concern and take extreme care in this matter.

Cuomo the Elder Has No Desire To Be Biden's Diaper Boy.

RS - One of the saddest things in presidential politics is when a candidate for leader of the free world has to pick someone as their vice president to make him look serious. I understand picking a woman or three-toed redhaird Eskimo pygmy to appeal to a particular demographic or voting bloc, but when you pick someone to convince America that you have a non-idiot within hailing distance of the Oval Office, it is sort of embarrassing for just about everyone.

So imagine how Andrew Cuomo felt when he read in the media today that Joe Biden was saying he would be the chief of staff in a Biden White House. Not vice president, because that has been promised to someone with sniffable hair. Not secretary of defense. Not secretary of state. Chief of freakin staff.... Why is Biden doing this?

Because after his disastrous debate performances and utterly bizarre remote address from his ‘basement shadow government’ yesterday he has to convince the American public he’s up to doing more than slurping his cream-of-wheat. Andrew Cuomo, though given to bouts of wide-eyed panic, has been a good partner with the Trump administration and seems to have a better grip on what needs to be done than any other Democrat.

With the SS Biden nearly dead in the water, there is zero reason for Cuomo to expend his political capital backing not only a loser but a loser of such loserliness that even other abject losers are jealous. Cuomo’s best play is to ensure that he’s not associated in any way, shape, or form with the Biden 2020 train wreck, and focus on the open election in 2024. His second best play is to be waiting in the wings if, as I more and more think will happen.

Nancy Pelosi's Attempt To Legalize Ballot Box Stuffing

Democrats, who have in the past taken stealing elections to heights never dreamed by the founders, have always clutched their pearls and insisted there is no such thing.  But just read the history of the democrat party and you will see they are, as usual, lying.(JFK-LBJ in particular)  Recently there's this slick little thing they came up with called "Ballot Harvesting".  Made legal in California in 2016, and first used in the 2018 midterm elections, democrat operatives dropped hundreds of thousands of ballots off at polling stations helping Democrats flip seven Republican congressional seats. Just a 'Milk Run' for when they ever regain control of congress. 

Harvesting allows people to canvas, with ballots in hand, Nursing Homes, Homeless shelters, Rehab facilities, Homes for Wayward Nymphomaniacs etc. and (in states with same day registration) register and help fill out ballots *wink wink*  and deliver them to polling stations.  There is no process for vetting or verifying those delivering the ballots, no background checks or identification requirements.

Now you understand why democrats are so against purging voter roles of long inactive voters?? It's Tank Abrams' wet dream. Easier voting for the our infirm, unconscious or deceased citizens. 

The sleazy Speaker of the House wants to make the process legal nationwide and override state laws by slipping it into her version of the the coronavirus stimulus package.

This from Breitbart:

Her bill, released Monday afternoon, provides that every state: A) shall permit a voter to designate any person to return a voted and sealed absentee ballot to the post office, a ballot drop-off location, tribally designated building, or election office so long as the person designated to return the ballot does not receive any form of compensation based on the number of ballots that the person has returned and no individual, group, or organization provides compensation on this basis; and (B) may not put any limit on how many voted and sealed absentee ballots any designated person can return to the post office, a ballot drop off location, tribally designated building, or election office. 

In other words, party operatives can literally truck thousands and thousands of ballots to the polls, provided they earn a salary or fee, and not paid by the ballot. 

It is a practice that is known in Third World countries as “ballot stuffing,” and is outlawed in every democracy, no matter how poor — even in countries where the physical and administrative obstacles to voting are far greater than in the world’s most developed economy.

And it is just one of many of the dem's ridiculous conditions in negotiations with the Senate that have nothing to do with saving the U.S. economy from coronavirus.

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

We Told Ya Biden's Pretend Press Conferences Would Be A Train Wreck

If he bumbles his way through a made-up press conference, he'll simply remind people how lame he is.

Let me get this straight. The Biden camp has INSISTED for the past six days that—rather than simply hiding from the public—he was tirelessly briefing with top COVID19 experts. Now, in his first public address in a week, he can’t remember what he learned. pic.twitter.com/M6uNXOzzq8

— Aren R. LeBrun (@proustmalone) March 23, 2020

Why don't they just dub a voice over his like the actor in the Liberty Mutual commercials. Y'all get that man some pudding. (Betting behind that podium, he's wearing boxer shorts and house shoes that have toilet paper stuck to the bottom.) 

A Good Monday Morning

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

~NO TUXEDOS REQUIRED ~

Brought To You By BLUESJUNKY: Chair of Music - Middle Finger Symphony Theater Music Director

Joe Biden Plans to do Mystery Science Theater on Trump Press Conferences

His house is being outfitted with equipment that would enable him to live-stream and he's going to pretend he has a job where he has pretend press conferences to correct the lies & deceptions of DJT, update people on the on the coronavirus and functioning of government, even though he doesn't work for the government.

If he decides to come out of the dark an bumble his way through a made-up press conference, he'll simply remind people how lame he is.  Biden's handlers must have gotten some assurances from the media they will cover for him to try a stunt like this.  The chance of it blowing up in their faces is pretty high and reeks of desperation, with huge downside risk of Biden making yet another dementia-seeming gaffe. Internal polling for Biden versus Trump must be horrible!

At what point do they have to tie a rope around Joe's ankle so that he doesn't get disoriented and wander off. Too think that there are people who consider him a viable candidate for anything is an indication of the high level of their desperation. It's hard to see how this is a good idea for his campaign or the country.

I look forward to an accidental live feed of Joe Biden in an open bathrobe and boxer shorts barking at half a dozen highly paid aides who are doing their best to help him find his slipper. Or what are the chances they just dub a voice over his like the actor in the Liberty Mutual commercials. They could call it "Uncle Joe's Poolside Chats".